*Time warp back to 2012 after Jesse and Dean*
After a long day of classes, I drove home and pulled into my tiny driveway within a community of duplexes and small houses. As I opened my car door, I saw a cop car driving by with "SHERIFF" plastered all over it. I started walking toward my door when I noticed he was slowing down. *Moment of panic* Are my tags expired? Was I speeding? Did I run over a small animal? Can cops pull you over for running over a small animal? He smiled at me as he rolled down his window. Calm down, something must have happened around here and he wants to question me.
I approached his vehicle anticipating questions regarding suspicious activity in the area.
"You're from Washington?"
"Oh... yeah, I'm guessing you gathered as much from my license plate." (Yes, I'm from Washington. I've decided to get over my paranoia of being identified and at least disclose my home state.)
"Yeah, I did. What part are you from?"
"Oh, all over the Western half of the state. I was last living in Seattle though."
"I love Seattle! I was stationed in Bremerton when I was in the Navy, and I just loved it up there. What brings you all the way down here?"
Is he flirting with me? He's asking awfully personal questions for someone who wants to inquire about a crime in the area.
"I moved here for grad sch-"
"45, a 10-15 on 685 Second Avenue," his radio interrupted. (I totally made up those numbers.) Tyler (we'll call him Tyler) pressed a button on his radio and responded although I couldn't quite hear what he was saying. He looked toward me again. "Grad school. That's great; what are you studying?"
It was suddenly obvious that he didn't stop me to question me. Or rather he did but not for the reason I expected. Tyler was African American, looked to be in his thirties, possessed a wide and gorgeous smile with perfect teeth, and had those eyes you encounter sometimes that just seem to embody kindness.
Conversation continued, within which I learned that he ranked captain and worked long weeks. He interspersed in our chat several references to the fact that we shared busy schedules.
"You're a grad student with a lot of homework, and I’ve got an unpredictable and busy schedule, so we'd understand that about each other, ya know?"
What do I say now? This is so weird…
"Yeah, I guess we would."
"I try to tell women that I have to work, and they get mad. But you'd get it."
What is happening here? Is this normal? Are cops allowed to pick up women like this?
"Yeeaahhh…" Oh my God, I'm being so awkward right now.
"Listen, I need to go, but it's been really nice chatting with you. Can I get your number?"
Am I allowed to say no to a cop? Do I even want to say no? This is so weird and unexpected, I don't even know what I want.
"Sure."
He grabbed his cellphone and entered my number as I stated it.
"I'll call you soon. Nice meeting you."
"Nice meeting you too," I said as he started to drive away.
Did that just happen? Actually, WHAT just happened? Was he following me? Or did he just see me get out of my car and think I was cute? Although the whole scenario seemed a little strange to me and I wasn't sure if I was even interested in him, I really liked the fact that a guy thought I was attractive enough to approach and request my number. It was flattering and that kind of attention was quite a rare experience for me. And a police captain? Not too shabby!
The next day, I told my new grad school friends about the experience, and they all had a similar reaction that went something like this:
"Oh, that's fun! But wait, he pulled up to your front door and asked for your number? That's a little forward..."
"Yeeaahhh... I guess it is."
Regardless, I was still excited about the fact that a man noticed me and would possibly ask me out. After all, although I had spent a lot of time with Jesse, we never defined what we were doing and I still had never in my life gone on an official date.
While doing homework that afternoon, I received the phone call I had been anticipating.
"Hi, it's Tyler."
"Hi, Tyler! How was your day?"
"Pretty good... I'm calling to see if you want to get together tonight."
Oh my gosh, it's happening! My very first official, full-blown, bona fide date!
"Sure! What do you have in mind?"
"What do you like to do?"
"Umm... eat?"
"Would you like to come over? I can cook dinner."
Go to your house? Where I'll be completely alone with you? On our first date?
"That's nice, but I'd rather go out... "
"Ummm... there are some restaurants I'd rather avoid, like Applebee's and Chili's, because some of the people who hang out there are folks that I've arrested."
HA HA! Awesome. Dating cops is fun.
*Laugh* "Okay, we won't go there then. What about downtown? Is there a restaurant there you'd be more comfortable with?"
"Maybe, where do you want to go?"
Why do I have to make all the decisions here? You're asking me on a date, so can you at least suggest a place?
"Umm... how about Rick's?"
"I haven't been there in a while. That sounds nice. What time would you like?"
Ugh, I don't want to make all the decisions.
"Seven?"
"That sounds good. Would you like me to pick you up?"
"Thanks, but you don't have to do that. I'll meet you there."
"Okay, I'll see you at Rick's at seven."
My response to the offer of being picked up for a date now varies by situation. It's a nice gesture and I appreciate the gentlemanly approach. In this case though, I had only spoken to him once and barely knew him at all, so I felt safer driving myself to dinner. Granted, it seems unlikely that a police officer – a police CAPTAIN nonetheless – leads a double life as a rapist and serial killer so I'm probably a little overly cautious.
I have a DATE! It felt dreamlike. I had certainly witnessed this scenario of male-liking-female-and-asking-her-to-dinner enough times in books and films but it had never happened to me. Someone thinks I'M attractive and wants to go out with ME. It was a wonderful feeling... that was soon replaced with sudden panic. Oh my God, I have a date. What do I do? How do I act? What do I WEAR?! I suddenly felt overwhelmed. Although I had gained a little experience with Jesse, dating was still a foreign concept to me and I felt entirely clueless. Okay, you need to chill out. He already likes the natural you or he wouldn't have asked you out. Just be yourself. But what are we going to talk about? I don't know anything about him. What if I have nothing interesting to say or ask? Okay, seriously, you need to stop. You freaked out about Jesse too and obviously you had no problems with conversation there. Are you incapable of making conversation with strangers? Do you just awkwardly stare at them and drool? Of course not. This isn't going to be any different.
I experienced similar panic and forcible calm-down regarding appropriate date attire and eventually consulted Google for a second opinion.
"Don't show too much cleavage, he'll think you're a tart."
"Show a little cleavage to appear sexy and confident."
"Don't wear a skirt that's too short, all he'll see is sex."
"Wear a skirt or dress to appear feminine and sexy."
Seriously? What am I supposed to do with that? I can't win here. As I had done moments earlier, I gave myself another reality check. Just... be yourself. What do you WANT to wear? It was cold outside, and I had just purchased a new wool cardigan from Anthropologie that was super cute and accentuated my figure. I wanted to wear that. Skinny jeans were also a new addition to my wardrobe, and I felt confident in them. I wanted to wear those. So I did.
I spent the next hour carefully applying my makeup and restyling my curly locks. 6:40. It was time. Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine. It's supposed to be fun! Feeling concurrently excited and nervous, I got in the car and drove downtown for my very first date.
I'll tell you how that went in my next post. :)
After a long day of classes, I drove home and pulled into my tiny driveway within a community of duplexes and small houses. As I opened my car door, I saw a cop car driving by with "SHERIFF" plastered all over it. I started walking toward my door when I noticed he was slowing down. *Moment of panic* Are my tags expired? Was I speeding? Did I run over a small animal? Can cops pull you over for running over a small animal? He smiled at me as he rolled down his window. Calm down, something must have happened around here and he wants to question me.
I approached his vehicle anticipating questions regarding suspicious activity in the area.
"You're from Washington?"
"Oh... yeah, I'm guessing you gathered as much from my license plate." (Yes, I'm from Washington. I've decided to get over my paranoia of being identified and at least disclose my home state.)
"Yeah, I did. What part are you from?"
"Oh, all over the Western half of the state. I was last living in Seattle though."
"I love Seattle! I was stationed in Bremerton when I was in the Navy, and I just loved it up there. What brings you all the way down here?"
Is he flirting with me? He's asking awfully personal questions for someone who wants to inquire about a crime in the area.
"I moved here for grad sch-"
"45, a 10-15 on 685 Second Avenue," his radio interrupted. (I totally made up those numbers.) Tyler (we'll call him Tyler) pressed a button on his radio and responded although I couldn't quite hear what he was saying. He looked toward me again. "Grad school. That's great; what are you studying?"
It was suddenly obvious that he didn't stop me to question me. Or rather he did but not for the reason I expected. Tyler was African American, looked to be in his thirties, possessed a wide and gorgeous smile with perfect teeth, and had those eyes you encounter sometimes that just seem to embody kindness.
Conversation continued, within which I learned that he ranked captain and worked long weeks. He interspersed in our chat several references to the fact that we shared busy schedules.
"You're a grad student with a lot of homework, and I’ve got an unpredictable and busy schedule, so we'd understand that about each other, ya know?"
What do I say now? This is so weird…
"Yeah, I guess we would."
"I try to tell women that I have to work, and they get mad. But you'd get it."
What is happening here? Is this normal? Are cops allowed to pick up women like this?
"Yeeaahhh…" Oh my God, I'm being so awkward right now.
"Listen, I need to go, but it's been really nice chatting with you. Can I get your number?"
Am I allowed to say no to a cop? Do I even want to say no? This is so weird and unexpected, I don't even know what I want.
"Sure."
He grabbed his cellphone and entered my number as I stated it.
"I'll call you soon. Nice meeting you."
"Nice meeting you too," I said as he started to drive away.
Did that just happen? Actually, WHAT just happened? Was he following me? Or did he just see me get out of my car and think I was cute? Although the whole scenario seemed a little strange to me and I wasn't sure if I was even interested in him, I really liked the fact that a guy thought I was attractive enough to approach and request my number. It was flattering and that kind of attention was quite a rare experience for me. And a police captain? Not too shabby!
The next day, I told my new grad school friends about the experience, and they all had a similar reaction that went something like this:
"Oh, that's fun! But wait, he pulled up to your front door and asked for your number? That's a little forward..."
"Yeeaahhh... I guess it is."
Regardless, I was still excited about the fact that a man noticed me and would possibly ask me out. After all, although I had spent a lot of time with Jesse, we never defined what we were doing and I still had never in my life gone on an official date.
While doing homework that afternoon, I received the phone call I had been anticipating.
"Hi, it's Tyler."
"Hi, Tyler! How was your day?"
"Pretty good... I'm calling to see if you want to get together tonight."
Oh my gosh, it's happening! My very first official, full-blown, bona fide date!
"Sure! What do you have in mind?"
"What do you like to do?"
"Umm... eat?"
"Would you like to come over? I can cook dinner."
Go to your house? Where I'll be completely alone with you? On our first date?
"That's nice, but I'd rather go out... "
"Ummm... there are some restaurants I'd rather avoid, like Applebee's and Chili's, because some of the people who hang out there are folks that I've arrested."
HA HA! Awesome. Dating cops is fun.
*Laugh* "Okay, we won't go there then. What about downtown? Is there a restaurant there you'd be more comfortable with?"
"Maybe, where do you want to go?"
Why do I have to make all the decisions here? You're asking me on a date, so can you at least suggest a place?
"Umm... how about Rick's?"
"I haven't been there in a while. That sounds nice. What time would you like?"
Ugh, I don't want to make all the decisions.
"Seven?"
"That sounds good. Would you like me to pick you up?"
"Thanks, but you don't have to do that. I'll meet you there."
"Okay, I'll see you at Rick's at seven."
My response to the offer of being picked up for a date now varies by situation. It's a nice gesture and I appreciate the gentlemanly approach. In this case though, I had only spoken to him once and barely knew him at all, so I felt safer driving myself to dinner. Granted, it seems unlikely that a police officer – a police CAPTAIN nonetheless – leads a double life as a rapist and serial killer so I'm probably a little overly cautious.
I have a DATE! It felt dreamlike. I had certainly witnessed this scenario of male-liking-female-and-asking-her-to-dinner enough times in books and films but it had never happened to me. Someone thinks I'M attractive and wants to go out with ME. It was a wonderful feeling... that was soon replaced with sudden panic. Oh my God, I have a date. What do I do? How do I act? What do I WEAR?! I suddenly felt overwhelmed. Although I had gained a little experience with Jesse, dating was still a foreign concept to me and I felt entirely clueless. Okay, you need to chill out. He already likes the natural you or he wouldn't have asked you out. Just be yourself. But what are we going to talk about? I don't know anything about him. What if I have nothing interesting to say or ask? Okay, seriously, you need to stop. You freaked out about Jesse too and obviously you had no problems with conversation there. Are you incapable of making conversation with strangers? Do you just awkwardly stare at them and drool? Of course not. This isn't going to be any different.
I experienced similar panic and forcible calm-down regarding appropriate date attire and eventually consulted Google for a second opinion.
"Don't show too much cleavage, he'll think you're a tart."
"Show a little cleavage to appear sexy and confident."
"Don't wear a skirt that's too short, all he'll see is sex."
"Wear a skirt or dress to appear feminine and sexy."
Seriously? What am I supposed to do with that? I can't win here. As I had done moments earlier, I gave myself another reality check. Just... be yourself. What do you WANT to wear? It was cold outside, and I had just purchased a new wool cardigan from Anthropologie that was super cute and accentuated my figure. I wanted to wear that. Skinny jeans were also a new addition to my wardrobe, and I felt confident in them. I wanted to wear those. So I did.
I spent the next hour carefully applying my makeup and restyling my curly locks. 6:40. It was time. Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine. It's supposed to be fun! Feeling concurrently excited and nervous, I got in the car and drove downtown for my very first date.
I'll tell you how that went in my next post. :)